I am so blessed to have 6 little feet that run around the house like elephants every morning. Living in a tri-level house, it is so wondrous how their little feet and tiny body weight can make so much noise. But the noise comes from wonder, purpose and exploration. Those little feet in life make such loud stomps in their journey of learning about the world around them. If adults were filled with such wonder and hope of their surroundings, I couldn't imagine the volume of noise and chaos.
In mid October, I had a retinal artery branch occlusion. You can read a previous post about that story. Today is just an update.
I have been in and out of doctors' offices for the past 2 months. I found a great primary Physician that I hope will take on my children as patients. He feels like a doctor from my childhood. One that knows your name, your story, and works help you. He has referred me to surgeons, breast specialists, retina specialists, and cardiologists, etc. He has argued and questioned results that were subjective and may need further review, yet kept me safe by placing me in the hands of surgeons who will avoid unnecessary invasive procedures. I feel truly privileged and blessed to have access to a health care world I had neglected for years while keeping up with well and sick child pediatrician visits.
Thursday, I will go to Fort Sanders Regional Medical Center for a TEE. They will put me under sedation and take a closer look at my heart by placing a probe down my esophagus. Although it is almost impossible to determine what caused the painless loss of vision, this is the biggest suspect. I was born with a congenital heart defect, a bicuspid arotic valve. It is suspected to occur in 1-2% of people. It has always been ignored by me and by others until now. My eyes glaze over when they start talking centimeters, diameters, velocity and flow of arteries and valves while my mind starts thinking of my 6 little feet who stomp around the house with purpose and wonder. Little bear says it best the last time he accompanied me the heart doctor. He points to the diagrams of hearts on the wall and tells me.."Hearts don't look like that. That is not beautiful. Hearts love people."
Today at the Ophthalmologist, who specializes in retinas, was a humbling experience. Every other patient in the room had their adult child as a companion. Those adult children could have been my parents. Their own parent patients likely cannot see very well and do not have many more years to live. I sat there with my five year old with the hope that we could replay this scene in another 40 years when he is an adult and I am elderly. He was invited to watch the computer monitors projected images as machines scanned my eyes. Even I through my dilated pupils could see his wonder as he looked at the images on the monitor seeing something he never had imagined before. I doubt he will never look at an eye in the same way again. My Ophthalmologist once again confirmed my 20/20 vision with the huge deep hole of central vision in my right eye. It has improved with more lightening on the top half. And may improve slightly more in the next couple months, but beyond that it is what it is. He supported the scheduled TEE Thursday, as he agrees it could be calcification of the bicuspid aortic valve may that thrown an emboli. And how lucky I am that I only lost central vision in my eye as opposed to a stroke or heart attack. That could have been a very bad day. Scott had the very bad day when he lost his own mother from an embolism.
Like Little Bear stated: "Hearts love people." I am full of fear and very hopeful that my own heart sent a huge signal to me that it needs some attention and possible major surgery. That is a bunch of love right there, my Little Bear. My loving heart parents who live 1200 miles away coached me through choking down my first heart medicine while I cried my eyes out, as I didn't want to admit that I needed it. I am also hopeful that the findings look good with only the follow up appointment in 6 months. We will know more Thursday. In the meantime, stomping feet and loving hearts are my lifeline.
