Fundraisers and tears.

I don’t know if you’ve heard, but the US economy sucks right now.  I’m going to assume that you don’t need a link to a current news article to know that things are bad all over. Even if you don't feel it yourself, you may know a few dozen people that do feel it everyday or maybe they just don't know better.

My family is one of the semi-lucky ones. Scott has a great job and was hired directly by a national company when they saw they would most likely not have him as a contracted employee anymore. We are making by day to day with a house in Minnesota and our rental place in TN. We see houses around here being foreclosed, short sold or their occupants evicted daily. I just came across a parking lot filled with automobiles that were being loaded due to repossession. 

At the same time, the public school systems are suffering. Badly. Everywhere. The fact that Tennessee has no state income tax doesn't help matters much, I am sure.

Owen just began his first year in school this fall. It has been 10 weeks since his first day of school, and 10 weeks from the start of fundraisers and donations. It only took that long to get frustrated and feel like I have been pumped dry.

Coupon books, spirit wear, year books, plastic wrist bands for sale.  Please send in gift wrapping items, M&M, snacks, more hand sanitizer. We need $4.50 for this special presentation on Monday and the puppet show costs $2.50 on Thursday. Every week it seems my son’s primary school is encouraging me to buy yet another frivolous item or send in money for an activity with a reminder that a portion of proceeds will go to your child’s school that is desperate for money. Oh, and your child has a chance to win some ridiculous plastic trinket as a reward for selling stuff.

I’m frustrated because many of these fundraisers are based around items I wouldn't buy in a good economy and things I’ve definitely eliminated in a crap economy.  But most importantly, I know how little of my money will actually end up going to support the school itself.

For starters, those plastic trinkets or coupons for a free meal (1 meal) that I’ll find in the bottom of my son’s bookbag after the last day of the sale?  Completely unnecessary.  I’d rather see my money going towards supplies for his classroom. And really, I just bought $30 of coupons...now I need to take my whole family out to eat for my son can have his fundraiser reward of a free meal while we spend another $30+ and wouldn't have gone anyway? Or do I let him sit and eat his free meal while we watch. Heartbreaking.

And what about the majority of money going to the fundraising company?  While I want to do what I can to keep manufacturers open and jobs available, my first priority when writing that particular check is to help fund my son’s education.  I hate the idea that $45 of that $50 box of chocolates is going to some company that I have no loyalty to and have a hunch that the plastic trinket I find in Owen's bag is made in China anyway.

Scott grew up in a house that had NO money. Many days he and his brother had to steal food from the local grocery store because there was none to be had in the house. He has told me stories of how anxious he got every time he had a note from school requesting anything. School fundraising doesn't generate warm fuzzy feelings in any way.

Of course, we don’t feel like I can explain that to our son.  By the time he comes home with the note in hand, he’s already been told that he’s helping to raise money for his school and concluded that if your parents don’t buy this it means they don’t love you or care about your education. It’s not easy explaining things like “overhead” and “waste” and "we did what we could" to a five year old boy.

I try to teach my children every time we walk by the Boy Scouts selling popcorn (which is every store this time of year). I support the Boy Scout organization 100%, but when solicited by a young man this fall and was told it was $18 to buy popcorn...I had to decline. I decided on the spot to give a donation instead. Not a large one, but what I had in my pocket. Now, every time we walk by their campaign set up in front of the stores we frequent, the kids ask not for the product but if I have any change to donate. I hope that the kids will continue to ask me when the Salvation Army sets up their kettles in a few weeks. 

I’d prefer if my school districts would simply NOT solicit donations through fundraisers.  Or maybe there’s some pact we can sign that says “in exchange for not participating in any of this year’s frivolous fundraisers, I will send you a check one time for XX amount of dollars.”  Surely there’s a way to turn that into a tax deduction, right?

Tonight, I listened to Owen cry himself to sleep because he did not sell 10 coupon books. We did what we could to get that stupid plastic trinket and free meal. Because he didn't sell 10, he will not be on the morning televised announcements. Tears flowed. He stated he hated school. He never wants to go back.

So, why should a child hate school or hate boy scouts or hate church or hate anything if they aren't able to sell the most during a fundraiser. After a long discussion, we aren't sure what the answer is or how we will proceed. Will they give the sale credit to kids who find 10 donations instead of 10 sales....likely not. We chose to live in an affluent neighborhood minus the affluent house or income. However, will the competition between the rich and poor kids consume us? 

Tomorrow we will have to go shopping for more hand sanitizer, grapes and cheese. Thursday evening, the kids and I will be putting grapes and cheese on skewers. I picked skewers to perfectly coordinate with the plates the room mom picked out for the party so I wouldn't offend her. Scott laughs and says I should get seeded grapes and processed cheese food to offend the other moms. 

The first Saturday in November, we will be selling tickets at the school Fall Harvest Festival and handing out money to let our kids play games above their ability and fun level to raise money for the school. I have attended parent planning meetings and have been in email contact with the class mom. Our week for school drop off duty is in November. Even though I have never drove my child to school, I will have to sit and open doors for other families that do not ride on the bus, while my two youngest will sit strapped in a stroller hours before they usually awake and what ever weather conditions arise. It is not like we don't try.  We are involved. 

I hope the classroom does not make a big presentation about sending home spirit wear or yearbook, because I have not purchased it. The over priced t-shirt would be too small to soon and out of style before the next child enters school. The year book would be ripped apart or tucked in an attic or basement never to be seen again. 

Any suggestions out there? What do you do with fundraisers? I would like to know.